Welcome technophobes, grease monkies, and motorheads

Welcome to a new'ish' site written by and with the imput from people who,s brains are so full of;
Technical abillity, Insane ideas, and the love of wierd and wonderfull shit, that there is no time in their over stressed brains for "CRAP" like spelling and punktuation.

Saturday, 9 July 2016

Dream with the feathers of angels stuffed benieth your head.

Random photo awesomeness 
Above is Rich, he got this bike built just a few days befor we hit the road. His only problems were a blown fuse and burning 5 litres of oil on the trip.
Feckin great Picy took by Rich ( different Rich) 

Old time saloon on. The border of Spain 
I may have posted this pick before but I don't care cus it's ace. 
There were Spanish workers with mullets , drinking brandy at 10 in the morning befor work. 

Mr Cheeeeeeze (a good friend we met in Hungary ) was supposed to visit us this weekend but his Clutch went tits up. 

Other shit we been buisy with lately 
We just got this dog from a charity in Cypres . 
He flew in a week ago and is very cool. Meet Flash

Me and Mrs Oily got on TV 
We are the ones with beards . 
This was ZZTop at Glastonbury and they were feckin awesome . That's a lifetime wish come true seeing them. 

I've always wanted a Trans Am and I've decided I'm nearly at a point in my life were I can get one. But it's on the end of a big list . I'm slowly deciding that all the other stuff is less important. $9000 on Craig's list. Bloody bargain. 
I want one with a fuckin great Fire Bird on the bonnet though. 

Right I'm off down the shop for bog roll an beer. 

Dont tell me about the altitude, I just want another drink.

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Halusinations , good vibrations, cruising LA , home of the Brant sound.

Pampalona was a very cool or actually it was very hot. 
But the city was pretty , old and twisty with a great buzz in the early evening . We hung around Tapas bars watching the world go by , then went to the most beautiful big old building for some grub. At some point I had scorpion fish pate . I knew it would punish my arse the next day and . Yep it did. 
Fucking scorpion fish. 

Still we rode on through to Lardo (between Santander and Bilboa.) we had a swim in the sea and a mooch around town then 3 of us rode into Bilboa for some evening entertainment . 

Bilboa is a great place ,it's bloody huge and spraling but the city centre is a nice place to ride into for tapas and a spot of people watching. 
On the way out I got us a bit lost. We were low on fuel and a bloody copper decided to follow us. 
Last day we rode the coast road into Santander, ate lunch in a cafe then spent the afternoon swimin in the sea and basking in the sun. We even watched a bloke peg it into building followed by coppers . It looked like it was gunna really kick off but they couldn't find him , then I'm sure he just strolled out moments after they gave up the search . 
Sat on the ferry now being subjected to terrible Caberet . I may have to go and get a beer. 
It was a bloody great trip and reminded me how much I like Spain . 
Land of the Cowboys . 

How did the chop fare ? Better than Sarge ( bellow, he got bad guts on the last day) 
I was worried about my chop .How the bike would handle the long miles. But more importantly how my back would cope. 
After spending countless hours building something you can talk yourself into thinking it is OK. 
But it actually is. I suffer from a bad back anyway ( falling 40 ft when I was younger don't help) but I found it very comfortable and nice to ride . I was happy to sit on it all day, and still sit on it whilst parked, normally I can't wait to jump off and rub my arse. 
I let my mate have a go on it, he ragged it senceless and his little short legs made it uncomfortable  . He found it horrible. 
I think riding it puts me in a different mind set . As long as I don't try and ride it like a fast bike then it's just bloody great. I've never been happier than to just sit and cruise , it completely chills me out. 
I can't wait for the next long ride into Sweden. 

Thursday, 9 June 2016

The mountains screemed three times today , asked me if I'd like to play.

I know I've used them lyrics befor but I like them and they are very relevant. 
we rode down south , into the heat and into the sun and into the mountains then into Spain . 
Oh My Bloody God. 
What an amazing scenery . But them twisty little switchbacks didn't half put my chop to the test ( and my back) 
After spending ages at the top whilst somebody (sarge) who obviously missed there calling a wedding photografer, made us line all our bikes up for a team photo. We then gingerly picked our way down to a village where we spent the night in a lovely little hotel. 

As we rode into the little cobbled streets with a few bystanders looking on it must have sounded like hell had risen into town . 
Truth was we were so worn out that we drank beer, ate food and were very well behaved. 
We woke had a coffee in a redneck diner. All the Spanish workers were having Port or wine befor a day's work. 
Then we had the most glorious ride out of the mountains. 
There was no need for breakfast as the scenery and smooth roads gave me all the nourishment I needed. 
Plus I also saw an old lady sat on a bench with her legs wide open. If I was hungry befor I definatly didn't feel like eating after that. 
We have now arrived in Pampalona , after riding through the city in raging heat. 
Now for a cool beer. 

Sunday, 5 June 2016

Why is this the hardest thing in the world for you to understand.

2nd day started much the same but in a foreign land. 
Tighten bolts , tall shit , take the piss, quietly admire others engineering then take the piss, eat breakfast , take the piss.....

We got half way to Pau then Barry ( big nose Gonzo , put me in a unitard and fire me from a cannon) started sripping all the teath from his sprocket. 
" it looked fuckedbefore I left  but I thought it may last the trip. 

We stopped in out side of Moto shop and drank beer and ate bagget until they opened then Barry got a new sprocket. Then we rode  on the longest most sweeping motorway that was completely ( I meen like the oppocolipse empty ) empty .absoltly lush, getting warmer all the time. 

We arrived in Pau . Stayed in our 2nd feckin f1 . I hate them nearly as much as Trago Mills ( if you don't know what that is then you are blessed). 
Got a taxi into the city ate great good and got possed ( that's French for pissed) 
We ended up in z great pub called " The Garrage" 
Now sat in my fart sack , listing to Brant Bjork. 

Friday, 3 June 2016

Just like a ghost without a name . Just like the famous without the fame.

Thursday started well enough with me having a whole day to get my admin sorted. 
Bought Mrs oily flowers and cut some wood for a client . 
I had sorted all my forms and got my bio together. Then I had all afternoon o clean it and make sure everything was tikity boo, I was feeling like the most chilled out motherfucker on the planet , I was almost Jamacan. 
Then Jim rang me
" bob my bikes fucked . It won't start or run hot"
So I packed real fast and hot tailed it to his gaff( forgave my freshly grilled cheese on toast and fresh brew) , stripped the carbs and cleaned em. " sweet " . All sorted.
His bike is better than ever!!!

Got slightly pissed on the ferry. 
Arrived in Brittany at 7am

Woke up feeling a bit hungover, well actually very hungover ,  then rode through the cold Mizzle until mid morn. It was fecking freezing but slowly warmed up . I wore my waterproofs all day to keep me warm. 

8 of us on the run to Spain . On the motorway outside of Rennes one of us broke down on his battery had boiled itself due to the rectifier going tits up. 
Then he spent the next 12 hrs trying to sort a hire car . 
He arrived on The back of Barrrys bike at 10:30 . 
Duck ( spellcheck ) whAt a day. 
But quite normal 

Sunday, 22 May 2016

I got this feeling inside of me, kind of strange like a stormy sea.

I haven't added to my blog for a while as I've been too buisy riding my chopper. 
I have been mainly strengthening things that are braking off, both Exhausts nearly fell off on separate ocations. But that's what this shake down period is all about. 
I'm now pretty confident that it will do me well on our long trip. 
Me and Mrs Oily rode for a good 7 hrs last weekend ( minus beer and food stop) and our backs didn't suffer too much. And nothing fell off the bike. 
1week Thursday me and 7 mates will be riding down through France into Spain . I can't wait. 
There's bound to be an adventure or two happening then. 
This is Brads build . It's a re- fresh of his tryed and tested, faster than a dog out of a bath, GSXR chop. Looking right tidy. 

This chop here will be coming to France. He's got 12 days ( interrupted buy a job ) to get it sorted. Once again . 
"The last Minuit is the most productive!"

Sunday, 24 April 2016

It ain't easy being green.

It's been just over a week since I put "Kermit The Hog" on the road an as for teaching problems, it hasn't been too bad. 
The biggest issue I had was that when I put the motor under load ( being rubber mounted ) it would pull itself to the wheel , shortening the chain. Then the chain would skip over the sprocket, that's not good. 
So I made this engine brace . It's mounted on two Rose joints one near the the axle the other on the swim arm mount ( which is on the engine) 
The engine can still move up and down but not back. This has sorted the issue. 
Then I got the carb set up on a dyno. I took it to Tiverton motorcycles. Once they had finnished cursing its length , thay had to let all the air out of the front tyre to gain a little bit more to fit it. But once set up it now produces 72BHP and 80Lbs Torque, topped out at 118 mph ( you'd have to be feckin mental to do that in to present hrdtail bouncy state ) That's  really good for a standard motor Sportster. That engine has been riden hard from day one and it's done it good. 
It pulls real clean now and rides well for a long bike with a square rear tyre. Going slow is a bit scary eg crawling through traffic , but the rest of the time it's bloody ace. 
June I'll be riding it through Froggy land into Espana 
Aug me and Mrs oily will be hooking up with the tall Dutchman Shovelpower, and riding to Sweden. 

Your probly sick of hearing and looking at my bike. Tough shit you'll be seeing and hearing a lot more about it in the future . 

But as compensation here is some other food for your Eyeballs . 
All 3 photos stolen from http://www.chemicalcandycustoms.com/

Wayyyy . I love the lack of respect for the proper PPE 

Above is from Meredith Divine photography 
Cone shovel is my next love. 

Since I have started building my bike , my appreciation of lairey 70s paint has become huge. Now black just don't cut it anymore . 

Sunday, 10 April 2016

Come on people now , smile on your brother . Everybody get together and love one another right now.

A fitting lyric for a psycadelic , trippy 70's (ignore the 09 engine) style Sweedish Chop. 

Tuesday I got my tank back from Tamsin , the airbrusher. What a bloody ace job she did. 
So I pissed around with the ( in-tank ) fuel pump, well I unbolted it and drilled some holes in the feed, it still had the fuel level sensor in there so I wired that up to a LED. I know it's more "Chopper " to have no fuel gage and to sit on the side of a road with no fuel whilst some poor sod drives to a petrol station to get you some (Richie)

My S&S Carb arrived on Thursday so I ripped it open like an excited child and ran down the shed with it. 
I had to trim 10 MM off of a couple of cylinder fins so that I could poke a screw , to bolt the carb on from the other side. 
It's running rich but it runs. I'll get it set up soon , but I've just been pooteling up and down the lane trying to get some teething issues ( which are very little) sorted. 
The 1st issue was that I forgot to tighten my headlight so it fell off and I rode over the ring that holds it on. I bent it back into shape and I'm gunna leave it a bit marked as it'll remind me what a cock I was to not check it. 
I also had to space out the sprocket as the chain was hitting the wheel and let some air out of the rear tyre to stop me being bounced off of the bike. 
How does it ride. 
It takes a bit of brute force to steer it but I'm used to it already so it's all good. 
MOT next week. 
Look out Planet Earth...

Sunday, 27 March 2016

We're the dandy highwaymen And here's our invitation Throw your safety overboard And join our insect nation

All I need is the tank to come back from being laquoured and my carb from the States then my chop will be on the road . 
I'm not posting a pick of it till it's finished now , to try and build a little suspense. 
So here are 3 very different bikes all stollen of of the Internet . 
Diddly Quat Quat