Welcome technophobes, grease monkies, and motorheads

Welcome to a new'ish' site written by and with the imput from people who,s brains are so full of;
Technical abillity, Insane ideas, and the love of wierd and wonderfull shit, that there is no time in their over stressed brains for "CRAP" like spelling and punktuation.

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

And that's the way I like it baby, I don't want to live forever .

This is Debs . She has made the cover for my choppa seat. 
And what a bloody top job she has done . 
As well  as being a lovely lass ,She makes the seats for http://vonzeti.com/.

Thursday, 24 December 2015

And now the young monsieur and madame have rung the chapel bell, "C'est la vie", say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell

Better than a bloody cake
I missed a trick with the heading . 
"Gold Always believe in your soul
You've got the power to know
You're indestructible
Always believe in, because you are

Sunday, 6 December 2015

Just 16, a pickup truck, out of money , out of luck. Got nowhere to call my own, hit the gas , an here I go

Totally cool car made by a jewler that my friend Chocolate Pete took when he was "workin " at Boanaville . 

Something Capt Bugernuts sent me. 
Me . Support your local Benchdonkee. 

Daz ' s mower.  1 half of a Benchdonkee. 
Dragster brakes

Guess the motor.? 
Prize is everlasting nirvana surrounded by virgins. 

Saturday, 21 November 2015

I went to the doctor to see what he could give me . He said "son , son you've gone too far. It's all the smoking and drinking and tripping you do".

Pipe dream. 
I wanted long fish tails , but being rubber mounted meens the pipes have to bolt to the engine and nowhere else. 
So I just cut and refigured the old pipes I had made . They always sounded ace and worked well. 
Mind you they are a bit shorter now and will properly hit the road from time to time. 


So before I pull it apart for paint I dragged it outside. 
This is the 1st time I have been able to stand back and look at it. It's a bloody good job that I like what I see. 
2 things to change and that's the front guard and cut the handlebars shorter. 
But apart from that ........ 
No Sleep till Sweden. 

Sunday, 15 November 2015

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings. Unheaded warnings, I thought I'd thought of everything.

My sister , hello Emma, is living in Melbourne . She has got herself a CBR and has just passed her test. She has seen the light , much to my mothers disgust . 

This weekend she visited a Classic Italian bike doo.

Four  things I like about this pick above, 
1 the supper rare , red Ducati  
2 &3 both of the Laverdas in the background 
4 I love the cardboard under every bike to catch the oil. 
If that was a jap bike meeting there would be no need for Cardboard , under the bikes. But if a lot of the bikers I know were there, then it would be them that would have to stand on cardboard, greasy Feckers. 

Finally lets have some CHOPPERS. 

Sunday, 8 November 2015

So you've been to school for a year or Two and you know you've seen it all. You'll go far in your daddy's car. Back east you type don't crawl.

I have been right bloody ill too ill to stand in the rain but not to I'll to muck about in my shed building my Chop. I have done quite a few bits and bobs but have failed to take pictures. 
But I'm pretty much at the point where I can strip it apart for the paint and final build.
So here is some photos I blatantly stole off of the Internet . 

Abouve and below is what's known as a bit of a "Clusterfuck" . 
I slowed down . Tom rode into my back wheel . Ate a belly full of shale . Just when he thought it was all over, Bad crashed full pelt into the unlucky Tom. 
Poor bastards. 
I stayed upright though ( for once) 
Photos by Tom Whiteing 

Think  your leaking a bit of something there mate. 

Saturday, 31 October 2015

We all like metal and whisky. Livin hard and chasin down hell.

I know handle bars are pretty cheep , that's I why it's never been a big deal buying them. 
But unless you get to hold em in your grubby mitts and sit on the bike ( pretending your sat on an empty road in the baking sun ) then buying online is a bit hit and miss.

So I bought some 1" stainless tube . Cut a ply former . Filled the tube with sand. Heated the bar till chery red . Then bent a gentle curve . 
It was then a quick blast to My mates workshop . " hello Dave" where I used his mitre saw to cut some angles. 

A bit of grinding and welding later and....
DINGDANGDOO. A lovely set of bars. 
I'm right chuffed and they are even and level. 
Bloody result. 
I'm gunna cut em to length later . 

I took my rusty wheel rim and had it powder coated . 
I'm not sure why I chose white ( I'm a grubby fecker that hates cleaning ) but at least it will look nice once. 
Then I got a few spokes , to replace the ones I broke dismantling it, and a set of shiney nipples. 
Then rebuilt it twice , as I got it wrong the first time. Blame it on the beer. 

Sunday, 25 October 2015

Gripping the reins of destruction , Made of steel in his hands. Holder of forces immortal, slaughtering all in his path.

I had a lovely day on Sat latheing away at my friends house . 
He cut a hole in my allooominummm plate and I machined up the axle / spacer type thingamy that fits in the plate and fits in the bearing which sits in the front sprocket. Now I just need some bolts the right length and maybe a few groovey speed holes in the plate and BINGOBANGO one outrigger. 

I also managed to tack some bits to the frame to hold the rear brake master cylinder and threw on a set of bars that I found kicking around ( just to get an idea of shape and length and aesthetics ) they ain't the right diameter but I do think that it's kind of in the right direction. 

Sunday, 18 October 2015

I met a poet said she didn't like the smell of it , then took her cloths off in a restaurant for the hell of it. I met a Dj who lived in suclution, reality and sobriety were her only delusions.

Easy steps to make an outrigger support for the front sprocket. ( because the sprocket is 40mm further out , to clear the wide tyre, than it should be then I need a bearing to take the load off of the original engine bearing , other wise it will be knackered in no time.)

First I luckily got a bearing that "fits like a hand in a velvet glove"
Then . What's better than CAD Carboard Aided Design is if you have a bit of plastic. 
See through plastic is DA DA DAAAA . See through. So you can mark all the centres of the bolt holes.
Then I made it from metal and realised that even cleaning it up it will look a bit shit.
So I'm gunna make a wood template and get it cut from 10 mm alloooominumm. Then it will look Bobby Dazler.

These three long legged beauties are from the Instagram of shovelhead98austin 

Sunday, 11 October 2015

I walk these streets with a loaded 6 string on my back, I play for keeps cud I might not make it back.( that was too easy. I'll make it trickier next time)

I've been in the shed today ( as you can expect) 
I tried to tick things off the list that keeps growing. 
I welded a lovely rack on the sissy bar, strengthened the mudguard that supports said Sissy bar. And started on the job that I have been putting off for so long. 
Cutting re-soldering and replacing the wiring harnes and mounting all the important thingamejigs. 
Unfortunately it's not a pan or shouvel head so there are quite a lot of Thingamejigs. 
I did make rather a smashing battery tray aswell . 
Unfortunately my phone is full of amazingly useful pictures so I had no memory to take any more. 
So here are some other photos instead.

Above is a bloody ace bike that Brad found whilst looking for picks of stoopid exhausts.
Lovely lady
Trike that is in the science museum
Last Wednesday I spent s lovely day wondering around London looking at cool stuff. 
I love cool stuff. It's so bloody cool. 
Abouve is the most amazing building. "The British Natural History Museum " 
Below is a lady enjoying coffee and a cake whilst every other fucker( except me ) is rushing around like headless chickens. 

Sunday, 4 October 2015

I was standing on a corner of Winslow Arizona, when such a fine sight to see. There's a girl my lord in a flat bed Ford slowing down to take a look at me.

This weekend , apart from swearing at the rugby and watching a film about a bloke stuck on Mars, growing potatos in shit, I spent a happy few hours in the shed creating a fucking masterpiece. 
1st job was welding some brackets onto my GINORMOUSE sissy bar ( which look way better than my photography skills display) 

Then I covered my seat base in camping sleeping matts . Ready for some more skilled folk to dress it properly in the finest Otters pockets edged with the rearest ocelots gussets. 
Then when I was in the village the other day I spotted this killer bike. 
I could tell you who ownes it but I won't . 

Tuesday, 22 September 2015

I'll show you what I got, it's loud , mean , fast and dirty

Started making the "Comfy seat" 
Fiberglassing the seat base on a layer of shaped celotex. 
I'm gunna try and layer it with Virgin thighs wrapped in otters pockets with a layer of Hungarian ocelot pelt on top. 
Mmmmm comfy comfy miles.

Tuesday, 15 September 2015

Well you walk into a restaurant all strung out from the road . And you feel the eyes upon you as your shaking off the cold. You pretend it dosnt bother you but just want to explode. ( original please Alex)

Usual shit. I've been flat out like a lizard drinking. 
But I have managed to put some time in the Chopper.  And because I've been busy , I also have a little cash to buy this offset (1 1/2") 
It's bloody huge. 
But it fits . And the chain lines up. 
Now I gotta make an outrigger for it otherwise I'll knacker the bearing. ( too much torque , increased but a long lever) 

But I also spent a happy Sunday making a break calliper mount from an old sprocket , a rear brake torque arm . And doing some more to the sissy bar. 

But I did have a few hours where I just sat looking , stareing , thinking " oh fuck me , what to do next . What do I have parts for and how can I get around this " . 
Sometimes you just have to make a list . 
For me it's the only way I can see a way forward.