Welcome technophobes, grease monkies, and motorheads

Welcome to a new'ish' site written by and with the imput from people who,s brains are so full of;
Technical abillity, Insane ideas, and the love of wierd and wonderfull shit, that there is no time in their over stressed brains for "CRAP" like spelling and punktuation.

Tuesday, 24 June 2014


This is Pete's leg. At the end of the flat- track season last year he fell off his bike doing an enduro and fucked his leg . Lots of steel and limping later an eventually he is back on form . 
He was racing DIRTQUAKE on his RD soon , so he got a practice session in at rye house last weekend. 
This is Pete's collar bone. 
Mend well mate. 

Capt'n s Chop

This Thursday , day after tomorow, me and a bunch of mates are riding to Belgium for the weekend . 
Reson being is it's Cap't Buggernutts's birthday. 
Cap't Buggernuts ( Richard his mum calls him) has been a good friend since the dawn of time. He decided to go for a quick ride abroad with his mates for his birthday with his mates. 
In his infininate wisdom and well known use of leaving everything till the last Minuit , he decided to build a chop and go on that . 
That pic abouve is said chop and the photo was taken 1 hr ago . 
Not only hasn't he ridden it but he hasn't even sat on it ( his stumpy little legs may not even reach the pegs , but it has an MOT  and runs like a one legged man in a swamp. 
But he is gunna make it happen. 
Fuck it we will pack lots of Gaffa tape and cable ties and I'll ride at the back an pick up all the bits that fall off. 
What could possibly go wrong? 

Sunday, 22 June 2014

Pre road trip test

Next week I'm gunna be on the road . Into Belgium with my oldest and dearest fuckwitts . The very same tossers that I grew up with then  We road to Hungary . 

Then the week after me and Mrs oily will be riding around Portugal with the Bonkers Dutch . Great friends that we met in Hungary. 
But first I had to sort my bike out . I fitted a new tyre the other day then was blastin down to look at a job , an heard a horrible whineing combing from the motor , then the back wheel momentarily locked up. " bollox " I thought I've only gohn and fucked my motor. But having a quick gander showed that my belt was rubing on the casing then snagged and tore itself in half. 
So today I replaced the belt and checked that the wheel was in alignment , changed the oil and filter then took it for a quick test blast. 
It's a real shame that my test route always somehow brings me to a pub. 
Funny that. 

Seems like all theis other folk were also testing there bikes? 
But on another note Rich who has organised this ride to Belgium is trying to do it on a chop that he hasn't finnished building yet. 
Oh well he's got 3 days to sort his shit out. 

Monday, 16 June 2014


Scunthorpe . What can I say about Scunthorpe " it's bloody miles away and there are a lot if power stations and it was a bit grey. But there was an amazing days racing there on Sun. "
Last race was at Coventry , the track was overwatered and everyone was crashing.i didn't enjoy it. 
I drove to this race and I wasn't really in the mood , the prospect of crashing and fuckin up my work and holiday plans was niggeling my brain. 
But a few beers with my mates in Scunny. And things started getting better. 
Thr track was dry and the groove was blue (dry sticky fast section , if your on it it's hard for people to overtake) . 
1st race I got a 5 th ( I think ) then 2nd and 3rd I came last . But I enjoined every race. 
The final was brilliant , I started at the back but managed to muscle my way into mid pack by the 1st corner. I was the oil in an oily rag sandwich being lent on from both sides whilst racing is a very strange but not unpleasant feeling. 
Brad tryed very hard to overtake me but ,fuck knows how I managed to stay In front ( see pik abouve , thanks to da Benchdonkees). 
I finished 7th . Wahoo . Big cheese I here you say.. But that was a result I was well happy with. 

After the race I was absolutely fucked but with the smell of burnt mud and fresh coffee in the car and Diamond Head on the stereo the adrenalin of the days racin kept me buzzin for the 6 hour drive home. 

Friday, 13 June 2014

Sunday, 8 June 2014


Both of these rods belong to a very good bloke called Pete. 
I raced with Pete last year then at the end of the season he was racing enduro and he fell off. He made a right mess of his leg . Lots if steelwork and limping later an he is preparing to make a come back at DIRQUAKE 3 . 
He will be racing his blue YPVS  on the dirt. I have riden this bike and it's brilliant and I can't wait to see him holding on to it on the oval( NUTTER) 
Abouve is his project YPVS. And it's bloody very special . He's pleased as a pig in shit now he has it road worthy . All the girls in the convent school are already board with him wheeling past and his Mrs is very concerned that his MULLET is taking shape nicely. ( Buisines at the front, party at the back).
Bloody good work Pete the bike looks ace . I just need a photo with padock jacket , high top trainers and a Simpson Bandit. 

Sorry , bit of a cock up posting
Here's the red one. 

Saturday, 7 June 2014


This bike belongs to a mate. He threw it down the road and made a right mess of it. 
So he gave it to me with instructions of" I like your style. Make it look cool please."
Brilliant , should be fun.?
But I can't start on it till autum / winter time. As I'm flat out buisy. 

Monday, 2 June 2014


Here she is Mrs June . Sorry looks like a bit of " the horn" got in the way. 
So this weekend I had a day of chores which was preety boring but mid chore fest I poped in to see a mate who just so happend to be prepping his sidecar outfits for a trial. Abouve is a triumph unit and below is an Arial single . "Have a go " he said. 
Bloody right I will . 
I used to ride a sidecar on my FZ750 so that I could take my dog to work . It was bloody terrifying but I did get used to it. 
It's been a while since I rode that and this Arial was so light that I thought I would tip the bloody thing strait away. So i looked like a complete novice but that's ok . 
Bloody 3 wheels ain't right. 

Then on sun I pottered down to the shed in a stinkin mood . 
But after puttin my back wheel on my dirt bike an changing the oil an filter. My mood was improving. After a little walk in the sun I felt proppa tip top. 
So I pootled down to the shed again with intentions of sorting my sportster for it Mot. 
I rebuilt the front brake ( a job I hate) then realised that my disc was so thin you could wobble it from side to side. But low an behold right in front of my mince pies was another disc poking out if a box . ( I didn't even need to look for it) 
Bolted that fucker strait on then unseezed my back brake linkage . An put in a working indicator and hay presto , hello Mr MOT tester. 
All in the space of 1an 1/2 hours. 
Nothing ever goes that well.
So I celibrated by taking Mrs Oily for a pint on the moor.